Dear everybodyyyy,

I cannot express my love for this work. This week I had a meeting with President Mullen and his wife, the assistants and all the STLs (there's 6 of us for the mission). We were able to speak openly and candidly about the needs and progression of the Sisters in our mission. I brought up something that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. As a trainer and an STL, I often feel a lot of pressure about having a "perfect area" with perfect numbers and the pressure to hit the mission standard of excellence every week, no matter what. I know that a lot of other missionaries are always looking at the "success" in my area and comparing it with their own. I have been very troubled by this lately and have lost lots of sleep over the matter. My Mission President also happens to be an accountant and so he is very good with statistics and knowing what numbers produce baptisms and such. Sometimes I am so worried that President Mullen is worried about my numbers that I try to do anything I can to have good ones, even if I'm doing things for the wrong reasons. As I've gone on exchanges with other Sisters I see that this weighs on them too and that a lot of them have started to do things "for the numbers". When I mentioned at the meeting that we were getting too caught up in the numbers, President Mullen was so taken aback! It was like that thought had never crossed his mind. I was also taken aback because I thought he put a lot of weight on those things. President Mullen expressed his great love for this work and that, while our numbers do reflect SOME of the work we are doing, it does not reflect all of it. Especially if we're only working in specific aspects to have good numbers. It was a really eye opening experience, and because of it, Hermana Sager and I have changed our goals this week to only focus on loving everyone. Loving and serving. We will find the greatest successes as we work in the way the Savior did, and I don't think he was worried about numbers!!! The people are much more important than any statistical report that we send in to our DLs or ZLs or Assistants or anyone. We just need to be reliable to the Lord and accountable to Him of the children He has entrusted to us. 

I hope you don't misunderstand, of course I have always loved my investigators and worked diligently to serve them and bring them closer unto Christ, but now, I'm not worried about anything else. Our success as missionaries is measured by our commitment to find, teach, baptize, and help others enjoy the companionship of the Holy Ghost. I wasn't sent out on my mission to hit standard every week. I didn't leave my family and friends and job and school to come out here to try and impress people with my averages and reports every week. I came here to find my brothers and sisters who are lost and kept from the truth because they don't know where to find it. I'm here to save souls and to share the love of our Savior with every person I meet. I am so grateful for this opportunity and I cannot wait to spend the rest of these 7 months working as hard as I can to bring souls unto Christ. And in order to bring them UNTO Him, I need to be right there with Him. I love you all and I hope that you know that I know that this church is true. There is no where else I'd rather be. 

Alma 26: 1-4
1 And now, these are the words of Ammon to his brethren, which say thus: My brothers and my brethren, behold I say unto you, how great reason have we to rejoice; for could we have supposed when we started from the land of Zarahemla that God would have granted unto us such great blessings?
2 And now, I ask, what great blessings has he bestowed upon us? Can ye tell?
3 Behold, I answer for you; for our brethren, the Lamanites, were in darkness, yea, even in the darkest abyss, but behold, how many of them are brought to behold the marvelous light of God! And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work.
4 Behold, thousands of them do rejoice, and have been brought into the fold of God.

Con Amor,
Hermana Rutherford